今天心情真的糟透了，

糟透了，糟透了，糟透了...

我的心情，你了解吗？

我想你了，你知道吗？

第几天了?

今天是第几天了？

你知道吗？

应该是第五天了吧...

累了，不想做了，

可是依然还是会去帮忙,

即使多么的想出去玩玩，

即使多么的想丢下一切，

即使多么的想不要管你，

即使多么的想不要帮你，

可是身体依然很不听话，

最终也是会跑去帮你了..

白痴

每天都在想，

到底几时才可以做完呢?

你到底几时才可以有空呢？

算了吧，

即使有空， 你也会去打机吧..

有时真的觉得自己很白痴，

为何要帮你，

帮你， 最后得到的尽是不想要的..

真得很白痴

帮你找人来帮忙，还要充当司机，听一些不大好听的话..

无论是你还是她，都给话我听..

难道我做错了吗？

我叫她来， 只想帮你把工作给早点做完..

你以为我会想要叫她帮忙的吗？

你可知道，那天她的脸色有多难看， 她的话有多难听..

载她来，还要载她回，

如果有的选，我也不想叫她帮忙，

你知道我有多累吗？驾着车， 眼睛却一直想要闭上，

心跳很快，眼睛很累，

头脑和身体都好像进入了机械状态

我没告诉他们，你不会在，是我的错.. 我承认...

可是，如果我说了，你认为还有人会来帮忙吗？

就连我自己都不想要帮忙..

不要一句：“不要帮就不要啊,回啊!" 就以为可以解决..

你知道有多伤吗，你的一句话..

帮了你一整天，换来的却是这么的一句..

我真的是个白痴..

baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka

22/12/2010

hapi birthday..

i dun thk u will read tis,

u r so bc..

=)

2day,

when u ask m i nt hapi, m i angry?

i thought i will say,

YA..

but,

i show u a smile, n say: "no ar, =)"

2day is ur birthday,

jus dun wan 2 spoilt ur day,

or mayb i used 2 say,

No..

i dun noe y m i angry of u..

hu u r?

u jus normal person 2 me,

u r ntg, ntg, ntg....

NTG

i told myself tis..

sorry,

i cnt celebrate ur birthday vf u,

sorry..

n yet,

i cnt help u..

sorry 4 my useless..

sorry N hapi birthday

17/12/2010

dreams

dreams.. wat do u dream bout..

u r d oli 1 hu noe it..

inception, isit possible?

hu noe..

bt tis is wat i wan 2 tell u,

u wake up late bcoz of dream

but i din slp bcoz of dream

if 1hr wake up once,

then stare in d nite 4 another 1hr is consider slipin too..

erm.. then, ok lo, i slpt..

strange dream, sad dream,

mani mani mani dream..

currently reli dream alot,

dream until i reli dun noe i m dreamin, or it reli happen

in d end, i fall 2 insomnia,

mayb it will b beta 4 me, at least i wun dream..

miss u..

bla bla bla

3more days 2 go.. 4more paper 2 go

math paper1 n 2, fz paper1 n chemi paper1

boring nite..

i dun hav mood 2 stdy,

i sit infront of my com since i bek hum 2day,

i oli leave when i went 2 bath n dinner..

i finish fairy tail(fairy tail is an animation) 2day,

finally

yokata.. ^^v

math paper is on tis thur, if i m mistaken

god bless all of us who r goin 2 sit 4 it..

act i hv ntg 2 post, jus 2 bored, n trying 2 bla here

"bla bla black sheep"

:p

i miss u

but u never know

今天的心情真的很糟..
糟糕的情况到了要骂三字经的成度了,

今天,
你写了"对不起", 可是你却不晓得你犯下什么错,
如果你连什么错都不晓得, 就不要随便 说出"对不起"


你真的真的是个大笨蛋..
什么都不知道..
大笨蛋

今天, 你对我孔了,
我的心顿时凉了半截,
很讨厌,
如过你不想教,
你大可以继续你的东西, 不要教啊..
当时, 真的生气了..

或许, 我们俩都太像了,
在某种情况下..
我们都是没耐心的,
我们都很容易心情不好, 乱发脾气..
也许协这并不是你的错..
而是我不好,

我一直都不是好人..

mani thg in heart,

but i dun noe wat is inside,

pls dun blame me 4 nt telling u wat hapen..

bcoz i dun noe wat happened

sorry..

2muc of thg inside,

heavy, tired

mayb i jus dun noe hw 2 say it out..

r u angry vf me?

will u angry vf me?

i wonder...

tis few days, both of us dun seem 2 b hapi..

2day, u din even speak 2 me,

if u r nt asking me Q, will u speak 2 me?

sumtimes,

i reli wish 2 noe wat is happening?

sumtime, u luk friendly 2 me..

at d next moment

u luk cold,u luk angry,

but u stil cn play vf others, u stil cn laugh vf others..

do i make u angry?

i thk i m, mayb i deserve it..

i saw ur phone, there are lot of my pic

pic tat u took secretly..

without my permission,

do u noe, hw muc i wish 2 del it..

u noe i hate 2 take pic,

but u take it without telling me..

in d end, i dint del it,

i noe u wil angry if i do so..

last nite, v went out..

do u noe i m angry vf u?

do u reliase i din speak 2 u muc..

i reli angry

but i angry jus bcoz u din reply my msg

i stil angry even i noe i shouldnt do so..

wat wrongs vf me?

when i reach skul, when i saw those ppl,

my mood gone worst..

i dun lik 2 go bek, coz i dun wan 2 c those ppl..

it doesnt mean i dun lik those ppl,

is my own problem..

in there, alot of pressure,

it is 2 stressfull 4 me..

mani thg inside my mind..

mani Q wan 2 ask..

but i dare nt 2 ask..

mayb i jus a coward..

i dun noe wat m i writing..

brain gone wrong

mani thg in d head,

but dun noe wat 2 write..

my didi hav updated his blog

nt bad, :-)

最近，心情真的不是很好

太阳被没收，

每一天都是雨天，

笑容藏起来，

戴上的却是面具，

读书的时间，

头脑却在放空状况，

abc123,

一个都没能记进去，

该想的， 我没去想，

不该想的， 我一直都在想。

到底要如何，

我才可专心，

时间不多了，

是该做我该做的

明明是明白时间不多了，

可惜，依然在浪费它

真的已经没有哪个心情笑了...

u break ur promise,

so y should i keep mine..

wtf

wat a day

wat a day i hav..
tt in d morning, slp 4 almost half class
afta tat, go my grandma there,
thought cn c my little cousin n make myself feel beta,
but he slpin when i reach,
afta tat, i stay 4 awhile jiu bek hum,
prepare 2 go swimin,i nid water..
but wat i get, rain..
when d rain get smaller, start my car, heading 2 stadium..
half way, a msg from my di,
stadium is close 4 hari raya..
wat da du...
arent hari raya is jus 2days, hw come 2day is holiday..
tis so call m'sia boleh..
i reli 'luv' here so muc..

okie, i noe,
2day my mood reli pretty nt gud..
mayb i should say, tis few day oso dun feel gud..
dun noe when it started,
i dun lik 2 smile,
wat u all c, is a fake smile,
a fake smile that i always hav..

a mask on my face,
i cnt take it off..
n nw, i m tired of wearing it dy..
cn any1 tell me hw 2 take it off?

累了,
什么都不想要了,

只想要有个人
在我伤心时，安慰我..
在我寂寞时，抱抱我..

只想要有个人
可以静静地陪着我，
让我有个肩膀可以依靠..

当我想你时，
你不在了..

我需要你时，
你却离开了..

到后来，
我依然是一个人..

i miss u,
do u know?

teardrop silently

sorry 4 nt understanding..
nvr understand, nvr thk of others
tis is wat i always did,
tis is y i kip hurtin others..

sorry
dun noe wat i hav did,
coz i nvr thk bout,
but i noe,
i m did wrongly

i always make mistake

when u nid me, i m nt there..
mayb, u dun nid me at all..

whenever i nid sum1, u r there 4 me,
but nw,
i dun noe is there any1 4 me anymore..

alone again..
but i used 2 it, last time
i wil used 2 it again, i thk..
mayb

i m worry,
scare,
but u no longer there

担心的，总算发生了
或许，早已发生了，
只是自己骗自己...

要继续， 还是停止

该这么办...

otokajo

11.34pm
time 2 slp
but i stil here

wastin my time..

cnt focus on study,
there is smtg distracting my mind..

it disturbing my lifestlye..
cnt concentrate on study,
cnt slp at nite,
cnt concentrate on everythg..
no matter wat i doin, it jus kip cuming 2 my mind,
n disturbing my mind..

wat should i do,
2 kip u away..

i thk i should kip myself away from u,
try nt 2 search 4 u
try nt 2 thk of u
mayb,
i should avoid any contact vf u
jus lik wat r u doin nw ( i thk u r.. )

try hard, but i failed

stupid chemi,
d more i memorise,
d least i rmb..
wat a brain i hav..
arrrrrrrrrr...

alkane:
free radical substitution

alkene:
electrophilic addition

haloalkane:
nucleophilic substitution

benzene:
electophilic substitution

alcohol:
reaction of breaking OH bond
reaction vf HX
dehydration
n etc..

those stupid reaction stil cn separate into mani type..
n nw, i mixed up all d..
esp nucleophilic substitution, electrophilic substitution, electrophilic addition..
ya, there are diff..
n muc muc diff
reactant diff,
catalyst diff,
condition diff,
product diff..

i wan 2 faint dy...

原以为，
一切都恢复正常..
至少我和你不会有任何改变
我以为..

原来，
这一切只不过是假象

是你的演技太好，
还是，
我选择忽视了这一切

也许，
是我太坏了，
为了保护自己，
我竟然伤害了你..

我一直都不是好人..

你的玩笑，
是真是假，
我分不出，
或许我根本不想要知道，
不想得到一个不想要得到的答案..

逃避，
除了逃避，
不晓得还会做什么，
还可以做什么..

我不是好人，
除了伤害，
我不晓得我可以为你带来什么..

因为我不会是好人

coward

我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节

灰色的天空
就像我的心情一样
灰灰的
伤感的

雨过天晴
哭过了
就重拾微笑
没有狂风暴雨
就不会有美丽的彩虹了
不是吗？

笑容，真的有那么容易重拾？

again and again

c, again..
i m wrong again
wats d matter,
i jus dun lik 2 stay at hum

y mus i stay at hum?
stay at hum 2 let u all scold,
let u all put ur temper on me?

enuf dy,
i cnt stand it anymore,
do u all reli care bout me?
do u all noe i m nt hapi?
do u all noe i m tired of all d stuff?

i dun noe y m i studying..
i dun even noe wat m i doin..
m i doin wat i wan 2 do?

i noe u all will b hapi,
coz he is cumin bek tmw..
do u all noe,
sumtime, i hate him
i m beta than him..
but yet, u all love him more,
coz he is d oli son..
(wat if i m nt a gal, but a guy)

last time, u all used 2 say i useless,
but afta i score in my pmr n spm,
afta i score beta than him,
i m still useless..
wats theory is it,
i wish 2 noe..

do u all noe y m i tired of study..
i dun noe y m i studyin,
m i study 4 my own,
i dun noe,
wat i noe, i m nt studyin wat i wan..

no matter wat i do,
no matter hw gud m i,
he is still beta 4 u all,

tired,

but,
slpless nite

jus get 2 noe trial had move 2 16th of august..
should i b hapi?
coz it shorten d time 4 suffering..
but i 100% nt prepared

purpose 2 hav 2months,
but nw left vf 3weeks..

2 to 3,
increase..
2months to 3weeks,
decrease..

surpose 2 study nw,
surpose 2 fin all d hmk,
surpose 2 holding my p.a note,
or watever notes..
but i m still here..

jus nw,
went 4 mv vf my di,
inception,
a gud mv..
u should watch it b4 u missed it

stil left vf 3weeks,
n i stil go for mv
brilliant..

最近
变得爱哭了
讨厌这样的自己

懦弱

笑容
是用于掩饰伤心的面具

真的只是有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆。
真的只是有时候，突然觉得心情烦躁，看什么都觉得不舒服，心 里闷的发慌，拼命想寻找一口。
真的只是有时候，发现身边的人都不了解自己，面对着身边的 人，突然觉得说不出话。
真的只是有时候，感觉自己与世界格格不入，曾经一直坚持的东 西一夜间面目全非。
真的只是有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自 己简单的行李去流浪。
真的只是有时候，突然很想哭，却难过的哭不出来。
真的只是有时候，夜深人静的时候，突然觉得寂寞深入骨髓。
真的只是有时候，明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表 达。
真的只是有时候，觉得自己其实一无所有，仿佛被世界抛弃。
真的只是有时候，明明自己身边很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。
真的只是有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己彻彻底底醉一次 。
真的只是有时候，心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，觉得自己很累 很累。

真的只是有时候，看不到自己未来的样子，迷茫的不知所措。
真的只是有时候，希望能找个人好好疼爱自己，渴望一种安全 感。
真的只是有时候，渴望别人的关怀，渴望一份简单的快乐。

copy from my di blog..
but it said out part of my feeling

isit a blue monday?

not a blue monday..
but a worry monday

gonna hav a eye check up lata
omg, i dunwan 2 wear spec..
T.T

i dun wan 2 join d spec world
dunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwan
dunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwan
dunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwan
dunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwan
DUNWAN

last day

i thk 2day will b d last day..
in future, i dun thk i stil gt d chance
everythg will come 2 an ending..

last day,
n i should stop my hope..
i wish i m satisfy..
i will...

dun worry bout wat i post in my blog,
n dun feel sorry 4 wat i post..

afta i wrote it out, i choose 2 del it from my mind..
so, u no nt nid 2 worry

pls dun feel sorry,
coz u r nt wrong..

v mature enuf, 2 understand n leave it...
wat i nid is time,
i bliv time will help me
i will recover afta sumtime..

although i thk i might nid sum time,
but dun worry..

v r frenz..
no more futher than tis

time 2 face d true..
=]

18th of july

1 more month 2 go..
but i still sitting here,
blogging..

i skip my tt again,
i hope mr. ng wun mind..
=p

but i mind..

lost motivation 2 study dy..
where cn i find my motivation bek?
if u noe d secret, kindly let me noe..
i nid help..

wish all my frenz all d best...

u6f2 fighting^^

esp 2 my di,
gambateh...

have i done wat i surpose 2 do?

no hope no sad

i shouldnt put any hope on u,
hopeless...

u make me feel i m jus a stupid

they told me,
nt worth 2 do so,
but still i m doin it,
hw stupid m i..

sorry, peiyen
i should listen 2 u,
b4 everythg gone wrong,
u told me,
it wun b a gud ending,
n i noe it..

dun noe y,
i m still doing it..
in d end,
get myself in 2 trouble..

tired 2 hav any hope on u

reply

wat u hav promise, u din make it..
tats y, i dun lik promise
unleast, i make sure i cn kip d promise..

nw,
u say u wun hurt me,
but in d end,
u did..

at 1st,
it reli hurt..
but nw,
everythg might bek 2 normal,
seem lik immune 2 it dy..
since u r nt d 1st hu hurt me
used 2 it dy..

=)

crystal is trying her best...

有点累了，
可惜找不到可以休息的地方

脑子乱了，
可惜找不到解决的方法

心痛了，
可惜找不到医治的方法

一只没有脚的小鸟,

永远都不能停下来,
只到它能面对死亡,
它才被允许休息...

a sad day 4 me..

isit?
i dun noe, i wish wasn't

act wat hapen?
i nt sure bout it..

wat i noe,
i m nt hapi 2day..

no1 say bout my result,
mr. tan say ok,
my dad din say anythg,
but yet
i cried..

no1 blame me on my result,
mayb they noe tis is d lvl,
high standard of sam tet

i blame on myself,
i noe i shouldnt get such result,
it reli make me disappointed..

my bro told me last time,
it is normal, if u failed in stpm,
n i noe it is normal..

but still...
i cnt 4giv myself 4 getting such result..

crystal, u r useless

对不起

相信...
有很多种,
我要的不是物质上的相信..

我只想要有个一人可以让我很放心的去相信他..

对你,
在我选择了相信你时,
或许我早已相信你了..
我必须离你而去..

对不起
我对我所做的,所伤害的,所错的..
说声
对不起

水晶, 一直都是坏人

如果我的离开,可以为你解脱,我会离开...
请原谅我的懦弱

水晶再也变不回以前的水晶了

曾经，水晶并不是现在这个样..

很久以前，因为一些事，
水晶把它的心给丢了，
只要有心，它就会痛，它就会伤心

可是，
在水晶把痛，伤心给送走的同时，
水晶也把快乐，笑容给送走了..
从此，水晶便把它的笑容面具给戴上了..

很多人说，
水晶是个爱笑的女生，
可是，有谁知道水晶是真的开心还是假装的快乐

因为被伤害过，
水晶选择了不再去相信，

直到去年，
水晶遇到了他，
他让水晶相信了他，
他改变了水晶

水晶找回了快乐，笑容
可惜，最后..
他还是离开了水晶
一切的承诺都只不过是谎言

他让水晶以为它找回它的心，
可惜是个不完整的心..
他让水晶不知所措
水晶迷失了方向..

再一次的伤害，
让水晶失望了..

被同样的一班人伤害又伤害，
一次又一次的相信让水晶累了..
水晶想：“或许她们并不是我真正的朋友，毕竟真正的朋友并不容易找到..."
是时候放弃这段友情了，是时候离开了..
从此， 水晶就和她们越来越远了..

独自一个人，
除了寂寞了一点，没什么不好啊

不过，
水晶找到了一个弟弟..
一个对它很好的弟弟..
一个比亲弟弟还要亲的弟弟
一个可以让水晶相信的弟弟

可惜，
最近，水晶和它的弟弟
变质了..
到底 要如何做，才不会让水晶失去这个弟弟？
水晶在烦恼...

最近，
水晶遇上了另一个他，
水晶想对他说：
“对不起，因为我还不能完全相信你， 我害怕你会和他一样.."

水晶想要变回无心的水晶


续

JJ

2J
justin bieber n jaden smith
never say never
thumb up..
love it

hope u all lik it 2...

sorry

dear,
sorry 4 my childish
sorry 4 my selfish
sorry 4 wat i hav did wrongly..

tat day, i m angry of u..
dun noe wat d reason
i feel sad,
when i saw u on stage..
dun noe y,
i should feel hapi, coz tats ur 1st performance
but i feel sad, my heart tell me, it hurts

seem lik i reli gone sot jor..
time 2 repair

tat day, i din watch ur dance till d end,
i leave d hall half way,
i reli cnt stand it dy..
tats y i sent u a msg "sorry"

i try hard 2 stop d feeling,
run 2 lib..
try 2 make myself bc..
try 2 chat vf yixuan them..
try 2 act as normal..

i thk i done it veli well,
should i gv myself a clap..

tat few day, i reli sad..
alot of problems appear..
try 2 solve it
but failed..

anyway, nw it turn beta,
although i dun noe hv i solve d problem..

but i noe,
u r there 4 me..

i hope..

hope everythg will b fine...

i will wait until u recover..
no matter wat, i wun change my mind

if u dun wan, i will leave..
if u nid me, i always there 4 u

time will tell u everythg..
i wun find u anymore,
until u recover
sorry 4 hurting

i will always here 4 u, waiting u 2 recover..

reply

no reply..
u having ur dinner, i dun wan 2 disturb u..

congrate,
u won d match..
n u r d nxt Pre for MKT

2day, i couldnt watch ur match..
rushing to tt afta meeting,
try 2 search 4 u, when i at 4th floor,
but i failed, i cnt c u..

afta tt, i msg u..
i noe, u r hapi,
u won d match..
afta tat, u went out vf ur frenz, i thk..
u say u eating..
so, i ask u free oli msg me..

wait wait wait n wait again..
in d end, i msg u..
ask r u cuming out,
4 brazil n holland match,
i dun hav big hope on u out 2nite..
ya, reply cum,
ans cum
u r nt out 2nite..
nvm, i knew it b4 i msg u..

so, nw i at mc.d
vf wong xiong n others..

i m sorry,

nt hapi thg again,

i wil try 2 post smtg hapi nxt time,

to u:

dun worry,

dun sad,

i will b fine afta i wrote all out,

once i wrote it out,

i will 4get everythg..

friday

finally, 1week passed..
u will b performing tmw,
should i go?
i dunnoe,
my grandma is goin, i nid 2fetch my grandma,
i might stay vf jac jac..
but tats weird..
i dun hv ticket, i gv my ticket 2 my grandma dy..

tats ur 1st performance,
but i scare i will c smtg tat might make myself sad..
last time, i might nt sad..
but nw, i m abnormal d,
no longer a normal crystal..

should i go?

thursday

2day, m i ok?

i dun noe..

wat i noe is, when i wake up tis morning..

my eye swolen

dun ask me d reason,

there is only 2 posibility

i thk if u noe me well,

u wil noe d ans..

wear spec 2 skul 2day, rita's spec, white in colour..

v haven exchange bek..

i thk v nid 2 met 1day, so i cn return 2 u..
include ur twilight..

1st period, pa
copy notes
copy in slow speed, extreme slow..

2nd n 3rd period, muet
no mood 2 stdy
slp 4 tat 2 period..

4th n 5th period, fz
last part of chapter 8
again, i fall aslp..
but, even i din slp, i dun thk i still cn concentrate,
my mind is full..

reset time
i m sorry, 4 wasting food
but i reli lost my appetide

7th, 8th, 9th period, chemi
experiment..
peiyen join our class, but sorry
i reli nt in mood 2 help u..

10th period, tutorial
chemi tutorial..
carrie does nt attend class, she told me in lab..
but i din tell every1,
if i tell them, then every1 will skip tutorial

finally skul dismissal,
put my bag in car..
then go bek 2 basketball court, wait 4 peiyen..
she wan 2 buy a dress, 4 her sis wedding dinner
so, i acc her..
went 2 greentown..
i m sorry, i m nt in mood, tats y i din gv u muc opi..

sorry 2 every1, 4 my moody..

wednesday

another day passed,
2day my mood was nt pretty gud..
mayb i was angry, angry of myself..
last nite, u told me u went 4 dinner
8smtg..
okie, i wait 4 u..
9pm..
okie, i still waiting..
9smtg..
i msg u, i thought u mayb fal aslp or nt free..
nup, u still having ur dinner..
10smtg..
no msg from u..

i m tired..
whole day din rest, afta skul acc peiyen till 4smtg.
bundle of hmk waiting 4 me..
afta fin my hmk, nid 2 go out 4 sum personal family stuff..
untill 10smtg..
din hav my nap, it was so tiring..
n yet, u r nt free..

wait wait wait wait wait wait slp
in d end, i fall aslp..
i tired of waiting jor

10.41pm, ur msg cum
bbq n steamboat as ur dinner..
11.04pm, another msg
gud nite..

i saw ur msg around 1am..
i din reply u..
i m angry,
y dun u let me noe earlier, so i wun wait 4 u...
tats y i din reply u at tat time..
i conti my dream..
but i cnt slp well afta tat..

until tis morning,
thgs goes worst..
my mom told me, she nid 2 use d car..
y every1 oso d same geh.. last mins
cnt she tell me earlier..
haiz.. watever la.. my mood reli gone bad tis morning..

afta reach skul, i reli nt in d mood..
2 my classmate, i m sorry,
if i put my temper on u..
n di, sorry 4 nt giving u respon tis morning,
i reli nt in d mood..

during math, i reli dun hav mood listen 2 miss ong..
i cnt solve d math Q, such a ec Q, i oso cnt solve it..
it raise my moody feel..
i use 1period 2 do tat 3 mathQ

then muet,
i jus wan 2 hav a rest,
rest my mind, n try 2 cold myself..
try 2 slp..but failed..
coz tat etron siting in front of me, talking loud..
sitution bcum worst when she standing bside me n talk 2 jac..
i still cn hear clearly bout wat she say, even i having headset, listeing song..

i move 2 ah sum place, tats beta..
slp awhle..
try nt 2 thk useless thg..
afta d nap, i feel beta..

when i beta, i start 2 flash bek,
ya, u should hav a dinner 4 so long, if u having bbq n steamboat..
i shouldnt angry..

so, i m sorry..
mayb i m angry of myself 2..

i wan 2 b normal crystal

tuesday

another day passed, 2day is beta..
at least..v hv chat awhle..
ya awhle, nt more than 5min, i thk..
another day passed..
ther are few more days 2 go..

i miss u...

2day, i saw u slp in class..

another monday

yup, another monday..
dun noe hw mani monday are left 4 me 2 prepare 4 my exam
nt muc, i noe..
but still, i m nt preparing myself at all

10th july,
hari anugerah, but oso...
REPORT CARD DAY

should i feel hapi?
u having performance on tat day
i noe u are hapi, coz tats ur dream
i feel hapi 4 u too,
but other than hapi, i feel sad too

sad of my result
my bad result..
my result drop alots, i noe
it reli drop alot alot alot alot n ALOT

hate myself 4 din hit my target..
i din set it 2 high, i jus wish i cn pass all 4sub
but in d end, i still failed..
2 pass, 2 fail..

m i nt hardworking enuf?
cn any1 tell me?
y m i getting such result even i study..

haiz..
disapointed..

HATE STUDY

as i dislik pink

try 2 hold d tear..
i wish i cn..
but i failed 2 do so

i hate tis feel
i regret on wat i hav did
sorry does nt function anymore
i m too over

i dun wan 2 lose any1 again..
i hate 2 lost any1 from my life..

try 2 hold it..
but it kip falling..

i thk u wun 4giv me..
even if u do so, i thk i cnt 4giv myself too..

1day, u wil leave me..
jus lik them..
bcoz of my fault..

wil i lost tis friendship again?

it nvr listen 2 my instrution
i wan it 2 stop, but it kip falling..

*i nvr a gud gal

silent mode

ya.. silent mode on again..
nw my condition totally diff from tis evening..
i thk suk fun will noe d diff..

tis evening, i cn talk, i cn laugh, i cn eat, i cn drink..
but nw..
i totally cnt talk, cnt laugh, cnt eat(even porridge), cnt drink( even stolen my own saliva)
damn pain..

tis is d power of medicine..
last 2 tablet.. ya, i still left 2 tablet jek..
should i take it nw?
if i take it nw, i will feel beta nw,
but when i slp, then jiu big problem..
if i take b4 i slp, i cn tahan till tmw morning
but nw veli pain..
T.T

i thk i should c doc jor..
okie, tmw afta tt go c doc

but nw..
SUFFERING

mc.d

yup.. 2day is thurs n i at mc.d nw

nt town geh mc.d, but ipohgarden geh mc.d

yeng, rite?

long way from buntong 2 here..

but its ok la, coz i lik d tis mc.d

dun ask me y,

i dun noe d reason..

^^

nw, sukfun is sitting oppo me..

v are here 2 do d inc,

but v seem lik end up vf on9..

i thk... at least i m..

=p

i thk i beta start my work, b4 get shoot..

so, tats all 4 nw..

lata if free then i post smtg else la..

tata..

sorethroat, but still cn hav mc.d meal..

sure die jor

science

ya, as a science student,
i still cn failed all my science sub..
sad, rite..

i tell myself.. too muc pressure jor..
u cnt get gud result bcoz of pressure
but, hw true is it?
m i reli giving myself too muc of pressure..
i hope i m,
but i m nt..

as a science student,
failed all science subject..

result out..

ya.. d result out dy..
all out..

again, sad, disappointed..
another 39..
dun even reach 40

is stpm 4F possible 4 me?
ya, i thk yes..
4fail..

my result dropped..
from top 10..
dropped out of tat..
for sure
100%

haiz..
dun noe wat will hapen
afta they noe i get such result..

get such result,
i still cn laugh, cn smile..
acting lik ntg
m i normal?

sad, but still cn smile..
sad, but still cn laugh..
sad, but still cn play..

i miss u

di..
10x =)

i reli nt in mood 2day..
d result reli make me disapointed..
mayb i m nt hardworking enuf
i hate myself 4 getting so bad geh result..

every1 put their hope on me
but tis kind of result..
i reli hate myself 4 doin so badly..

2day, i din eat during recess..
dun feel lik wan 2eat..
a bottle of water make me full
ya, i nid WATER..

sorry 4 making u worry 2..
i din talk, coz i reli nt in d mood..
dun feel lik having any words wan 2cum out from my mouth..
jus wan 2 kip my brain plain
plain lik a white paper

anyway, congrate..
u did well in tis exam..

ur fav colour, purple