dun reli feel gud tis few day..
even is my birthday, or christmas..
i dun feel gud..
missing smtg..

waiting 4 sumthg
sumthg tat i will nvr get it..
try 2 4get, but failed..

i thought i cn, i cnt..
wat it promise, it does nt kip it..

time to let go..

random

quite lazy 2 post pangkor trip day 2..
erm.. mayb i will post it, when i wan 2 write.. anyways, u all cn view it from houreyn blog too, he write it jor..

erm.. nw wat should i write leh?
lets write bout tis few day..
ytd when my dad fetch me.. guess hu is in d car..
omg.. a uncle sit at d front sit..
he is..... ETRON'S bro.. omg..
he is so talkative.. i thk, he talk alot..
N he smoke.. i hate smoker..

tats part of ytd...

then 2day..
went badm vf my classmate..
gt sukfun, li yong, jin liang, ken soon, n my di di (houreyn)
all of them late again..
my di di nid 2 take smtg so he late..
suk fun dun noe y late, 4 get ask
liyong gt msg me, say he will b late
but ken Ko n jin liang veli geng d..
ken ko go yum cha, tats y late..
wat da.. he go yum cha woh..
i din even take my breakfast jiu go liao, i scare i will late.. then he tell me, he go yum cha..
tat jin liang even worst.. v say jor 10am, then i reach there by 10, no1 there, i call jin liang..
" i still at hum" tis is d ans i get...
Y our class always late d ar???

erm.. after badm, me, my di di, li yong n jin liang went 2 a restoran 2 hav our lunch..
"ma bo" surpose 2 b d 'ma bo' bhind jj, but it close..
then v go 'my point', close too..
wat hapen 2day ar, y every shop close geh??

in d end.. v dcide 2 go bak near jj there d 'ma bo'
hou reyn's dad working there.. so, he recom us go there..
erm.. nt bad.. quite nice d dishes...
4 of us, 3 dishes.. about $40

after tat, 4 of us go jj buy ticket 4 avatar..
v bought it.. avatar, 24thdec...
it cost 66$, i pay 4 it, tats y, i bankrupt d..
4 of us plan 2 watch mv d.. but full hse..
so v change our plan 2 kbox..
again kbox..
i oso dun noe tis week hw mani time i go 4 kbox..
but i noe mani jek...
i go untill d waitress oso noe me jor.. so paiseh la..
but 2day reli song.. veli fun ar

after tat, v have mc.d ice-cream.. yummy..
erm.. then my di di drive me 2 bus stop at town..
he reli veli funny.. hapi 2 hav tis di di.. hehe ^^

tats all 4 2day, my dad scold d..

tis few day hav 2 b guai lui.. if nt i cnt go kl tis weekend..
i haven ask my mum, god bless me, hope she allow me la..

射手座

射手座人的内心不是外表看上 去那么乐观的，因为喜欢看的远，容易担忧的事情也就多，在他们的字典里，即使现在好，也不一定代表未来好，有时候很多人觉得很好的一个工作或一个伴侣，他 们很轻易的就会放弃掉，可能只是因为一个毫不起眼的小原因。所以，这样的外在表现，就让人们觉得他们不喜欢被某件事情或某个人束缚住，追求自由的，没有压 力的感觉。

现实：常说射手座是追求梦想的人，但往往忽略了他们现实的一面，算计起来不会比处女座差哦，只是更高明更隐藏罢了。射手座人的梦想是必须建立在现实的基础 上的，一般他们很少谈及自己的梦想，而是实际的去做一些向梦想靠拢的事情。如果可以借巧力完成的事情，决不会多花一点工夫。所以有时候射手座也容易给人耍 小聪明的感觉。可是，不得不承认他们完成的还满不错。也许终其一生，他们都在考虑怎么巧妙的做一些事情，花最少的精力去达到最好的效果。所以，很多射手座 看上去让人们会觉得很懒，但是其实他们的大脑可没有停下过思考现实的事情。

拒绝低俗：几乎所有的射手座内心都是骄傲的，其程度绝不亚于狮子座。只不过他们不会显现在脸上，外在的表现总是随和的，恰当的。可是内在有着极强的自尊 心，敏感也情绪化。因为射手座人心中是骄傲的，所以他们拒绝低俗，不喜欢任何俗气的、粗鲁的事或人。如果可以，他们希望一切有关的事物，都是优雅的、高尚 的，值得品味的。而真正能让他们觉得值得交朋友或谈恋爱的人是很少的，虽然表面上他们是很随和的。

多情：很多人说射手座多情，尤其是男性。其实在射手座人的心目中，对于爱情确实有理想化的倾向，和他们谈恋爱，是一件高难度的事情。他们非常讨厌俗气的 人，所以你不能很物质或喜欢谈钱，但是他们又很现实，所以你不能一文不名，各方面也必须有一定的实力。物质与精神，你必须平衡的刚刚好，才让他们觉得你值 得去爱。或者，你有足够的神秘感，可以让他们不知道你的缺点在哪里，而盲目的爱你。一般，当然是没有完美无缺的人的，所以，可能象金牛座这样永远会让射手 感觉捉摸不透的闷闷的人，会非常吸引他们；或者象双子那样，足够机智，懂得察言观色，捕捉他们的情绪，才会让他们感觉到爱情的甜蜜。一般射手的感情模式 是，第一阶段，你们还不熟悉，他（她）爱上了你，非常热情。第二阶段，你们逐渐熟悉，而他（她）开始龟毛，整天挑剔你的毛病，无论是背地里还是当面。如果你有幸通过他（她）的挑剔过程，基本挑剔出的毛病为零或者你把缺点保密的非常 好；那么进入第三阶段，他们就又是忠诚和热情的爱人了。但是基本能通过第二阶段的人非常少，所以有了射手多情一说。其实射手对恋人的挑剔，是源于对爱情的 挑剔，对丧失自由感的恐惧。

射手座人的人生，往往是幸运的，因为他们是聪慧的、明朗的、通透的。与众不同，也许是他们终生追求的梦想，希望每一个射手人，可以找到他们的梦想！

人人都说射手座是感情的骗子，对爱情不尊重，只追求片刻的快感，是花心与冲满欲望的象征。朋友们…你们了解射手座最真实的一面吗？

射手座是大孩子，天真与善良，遇到爱情时，可能让人感觉不认真，付出的比谁都少。可是，知道吗？射手座很想爱，却也很怕爱！刚开始他们只是慢慢的付出，谨 慎的爱，好怕自己会受伤。可是在一句一句的爱，一天一天的相处下，射手座把带刺的防备丢掉，开始不顾一切的去爱他们所爱的人，在别人眼中，只是射手座为了 达到某种目的而作的行动。可射手座不介意，他会在自己幸福的想象中陶醉，希望对方能感受自己的爱，想对方觉得与自己一齐是幸福的。

在射手座爱上了一个人，他会把自己放到最后。有苦自己承担，可能会因为吵了一场小架而不开心，却也是最快认错，无论谁的错，他们都会包容，知道吗？射手座 会因为深爱一个人而原谅他的背叛，会因为你的一句话付出很多。他们爱玩，在玩的同时，也希望把那一份好心情带给你，射手座是乐观的。

人们总觉得射手座的世界很快乐，可是呢？射手座难过时没有人知道，他不想让别人可怜自己，射手座不坚强，可是很善良。在你难过时哄你开心，让你有依靠，分 手后，他会哭者去想属于你们俩幸福的回忆，也不想爱的人因为同情而勉强和他一齐。他比谁都希望自己爱的人快乐幸福，却常常忽略了自己，全身都是伤也笑着告 诉你，我很好不用担心。

在所有人看到他的笑容以为他没事，却不知道失恋对射手座有多大伤害，华丽的外表下有一颗脆弱的需要别人了解和安慰的心。知道嘛？你的一点关心，心思细 腻的射手座会记得你对他的好，把自己的爱毫无保留的送给你，射手座是不被了解的，可他们不会怨谁。他们会傻傻的认为，让我承担吧，别让别人也受到伤害。所 以，不要让快乐的射手座痛苦，别让他们最有魅力的笑容成为掩饰痛苦的伪装，认真爱射手座。你会知道射手座的爱，是充满泪水的…

i get it from my mail.. sum1 send it to me, i nt sure is it 100% correct, jus wan 2 share it..

sad, disappointed, frustrated, tired...

when cn i get rid of tis family..
i m reli veli tired...

dad, mom, i m soli 4 saying so..
but i reli tired of all tis stuff...

mayb 1day, i will leave..

date: 14.12.2009

location: pangkor

8.30am, met at d shell petrol station,
i thk i m late, coz my bro say no nid 2 go so early, veli near jek..
so, in d end, i thk i late 4 few min, luckily no1 reliase it.. hehe..

then, i collect $$ from them 4 d food, if nt i reli bankrupt d.. but i m bankrupt nw.. hehe
ah fok was late.. late comer, lukily he reach in d last min, if nt.. v jau charm lo ( cn u imagine, sitting in a bus without air-con from ipoh 2 lumut, it needs around 2 hours)
i sit vf xin yi... xin yi sit bside 2 window, OMG d curtain was so 'clean'.. haha, xin yi so scare bout it.. haha... here sum pic v take in d bus..

she oli will b silent when she slp.. aiya, they should sit 2gether...

hoe hoe is slping.. n dreaming bout his hong kong drama...


head of VAD7, head of librarian, head of monitor...
nt bad ar.. all head..

our bus is 9am, i thk, i nt so sure bout it.. cnt rmb...
reach lumut around 11am gua, then buy ticket 4 ferry,
after tat, lunch at KFC.. haha, our luggage reli mani(X10)
4 d 1st time i c so muc of luggage, it jus 3days 2 nites, 12 person.. but our luggage jus lik 30 person..

smtg hapen in KFC..
OMG, suk fun lost her purse..
is it in her bag, or pocket?
ans: nup
so, some of us, help her 2 find it.. sum wait in d KFC
me, pei2, xin yi n sukfun walk bak n search 4 her purse..
then terwei n tham try 2 go bak 2 d bus station n c is it in d bus..
too bad, d bus has gone...
so, in d end, i called my dad, ask him go 2 d bus station in ipoh 2 check isit in d bus..
luckily, my dad found it in d bus.. hehe..
i noe my dad is nt so free at time,
sorry ya, dad n 10x so muc..

another incident, terwei n tham d 3$ punya chicken.. haha..

tat fun..

surpose 2 b 1.30pm d ferry. but v r late..
so, it is 2pm...
it is a yellow ferry, nt gud d ferry.. cnt go out n hav a luk.. so bored la, siting inside...
so, i take sum photo..

here there r..

after 1/2 hour...
hurray, v finally reach pangkor la... wakakaka..
1st destination..
CORAL BAY RESORT..
1st event..
explore d resort..

erm, nt bad, d swiming pool quite bid, i lik it..

a fountain at d centre of swimming pool


d apartment oso nt bad..
3room, 1 living hall, 1 'kitchen' (a kitchen vf rak oli, without anythg), 4 air-con, 1 refi..
erm, nt bad d la..

then after settle all our luggage n food..
v dcide go 2 swiming
wah.. so song..
i lik d swimming pool.. haha
v play at d swimming pool, terwei n tham were push into d swimming pool.. haha, lik it..

nite, having steamboat..
have 2 prepared 4 them...

after d steamboat, every1 is so full..
they cnt even fin it...

so, v hav a nite walk at d beach

n take sum pic

12 of us..


omg, his leg gone...


bbq.. cn u c wat is it?
ans: prawns

hey, wats liyong expression ar...

after beach, bak 2 our 'home', then they continue vf their supper..
then, every1 din slp, v blow water, except houreyn n hou hou n yi xuan...
others, sit at d living hall n blow water..
it almost float...
at 1st, v dicide nt 2 slp..
but oli pei2 n tham n jin liang make it..
others all slp..
included me.. hehe..

2 be continue...

the last

i always b d last 2 noe bout it..
no matter, i m d last...

he nvr tell me, heartbroken..
always get 2 noe by others ways,
he nvr tell me wat hapen..
even as a frenz, he choose nt 2 tell me...

:)

outing

tis few days, wat i did?
sun i went 2 church, vf my grandpa, i fall aslp, i m so sorry, but i reli cnt stand it..
tis few days, i cnt slp well..

then, mon i went 2 tt.. 2 and 1/2 hours tt math, but i slp for 2 hours..
mr.goh, i m sorry.. but i reli slpy.. cnt slp in d nite..
at nite, went 2 'simpang tiga' hav dinner vf my family..
all spicy food, indonesia food, my aunt lik it, coz she from indonesia..
after dinner, went 2 kopitiam vf yuen, sum, anne n tay..
play card, discuss bout d football game on thurs..

then tues, surpose 2 hav driving lesson in d morning, but d uncle suddenly said cnt have it..
wat d.. bcoz of him, i nid 2 wake up at 6.30AM, then i wait d half hour, he oli tell me he cnt make it.. wat da..
so, i went earlier 4 badminton vf yuen they all..
8-12am, 4 hours, but act v jus play d 2 hours, then v play poker 4 another 2 hours..
so funny, badm bcum poker card..
after tat, v went 2 stadium n hav our lunch...
most of d store din open..
i drink soya vf melon.. nice..
after tat, sum fetch me bk 2 skul, n my dad fetch me at skul...

erm..wed, tat mean 2day..
went bak 2 skul lib.. giv d sample 2 peiyen..
n i rushing vf my muet hmk..
i was so tired.. after fin 1 essay, i slp...
all upper six is studying, but i slp there, they sure wish 2 be lik me..
i m so sorry, i noe i shouldnt slp infront of u all..
when i wake up.. they all start 2 move from lib 2 their exam hall...
wat cn i do, is wishing them all d best n gud luck..
then i cont vf my hmk.. i fin it b4 4pm, then i ask peiyen acc me 2 parade 4 lunch..
i hav a starbucks mocha n cheese cake..
tis few day, i m nt reli in d mood, so i nid 2 eat smtg 2 make me hapi..
although it is a bit expensive.. but nvm la, once awhile..
then went 2 sub, wish 2 c hu is d junior tat make peiyen so angry,
even i order her favour-cheese cake, she oso din eat muc..
but i still cnt c hu is d guy..
she is angry vf her junior..a veli rich d junior..
wish her gud luck... hehe..
then went 2 etude hse.. suki went 2 kl 4 training again.. a bit sad, cnt c her..
joe-l is there, she say, i grow fat d..
T.T sad.. every1 oso say so.. cnt d.. i mus exersice.. gym..
asking xinyi out 4 gym..
i bought sum masks n d crystal peeling..( tats nt me, it is d name of d product)
after tat, bak 2 skul, then i called my dad fetch me..

he ask me went 4 driving.. he teach..
but do u noe wat car i drove? MERCEDES...
so freak, but nt bad..
* i scare my dad, he thought i will hit d car, but i din.. haha...
aiyo, tats r still a lot space la, dad

tats all 4 tis few days..

waiting nxt mon 2 cum.. hehe ^^

i watch d video..
n again it reminds me sumthg tat make my heart broken..

again, the heart still pain even it past d almost 1month..

i miss _ _ _

射手座

射手女生可能永远也不会知道自己想要的是什么，但是她一直都很清楚，她不想要的是什么。

她总喜欢做幕后的看客，冷冷地，静静地看着一切，在她眼里，一切都在她的意料之中，她并不觉得有什么是新奇的，如果她表现得新奇，那是因为她觉得应该这样做。她像一个看戏的人，永远置身事外。

你不要责怪她冷漠，这是她保护自己的唯一方式。她像一只刺猬，随时竖起自己身上的刺，但她的刺不会伤人，她只是用来武装自己。　
她不敢要太多的爱，她怕享受完爱之后，剩下的只是加倍的痛。所以当别人对她过度宠爱时，她不但不会欣喜，反而会惊惧地逃走，
她不知道怎样回报别人对她的爱，如果你得到她的喜爱，那是因为她已经知道如何面对，如何回报了。她追求那种君子之交淡如水的境界。
她懂得爱人，但她不习惯爱人，她知道爱往往伴随着恨，而恨，是太沉重的伤痛，也是太容易让人疲倦的感情. 她不想痛，也就懒得去 恨，于是，为了防范恨与痛的到来，她只好选择不爱，即使爱，也是淡淡的，冷冷的。别怪她，她是真的不知道如何专注。

她有时也很虚伪。不要指责她，她之所以选择虚伪，那是你勉强她做她不愿做但又 拒绝不了的事，
她不习惯承诺，也不懂得拒绝，她最擅长的是难为自己。她不想你难过，只好令自己难过。
她总是固执地认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，她将自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太 脆弱。
她老是担心自己的行为会让别人受到伤害。她不知道，受伤的其实是自己。
只是她不知道如何表现出来，她迷糊得像别人所认为的那样，将自己当成一个百毒 不侵的人。　

别以为她很洒脱，很多时候，她其实是放不下的
她比任何人都要敏感，都要细腻，但她不会让你知道，她明白，即使你知道了，也是无济于事。

她的心是把握不住的风，她渴望像风一样单纯而自 由。
她不是不想平静，她只是找不到平静的理由，她 一生都无法明确自己在人世要扮演的角色，她只有不停地寻求，寻求自己最终的目的。如果她找到了，她会毫不犹豫地停下来，从此放弃心灵的漂泊。很遗憾，她永远也不会满足，她的追求永不停止。她的心再累，无法逼迫 自己放弃梦想，梦想是她唯一的支撑点。

千万别让她失望。因为她学不会原谅，她非常渴求完美，虽然她知道世间没有绝对的完美，但，她有绝对追求完美的执着。
你若令她失望，她会不可挽回地离开，即使她的心在滴血，即使痛楚重得要 压垮她的生命，她也绝不回头。
那个时候，你在她脸上所看到的，是让人寒心的决绝。即使她还在你的身边，她的心也早就离你十万八千里，
你看不到她的恨，但是你会感受到比恨还让人痛苦的冷淡。她的离开是心灵的离 开。

她可以在前半分钟对你好得让你受宠若惊，也可以在后半钟冷漠得让你不可接受。
不要问她为什么这样善变，她也不知道。
当你看到她在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，千万不要迷惑，不管她看起来是多么的疯狂，她内心其实是冷静 的，
她比你们任何一个旁观者更知道如何处理快乐与悲伤，她只是习惯-——也可以说是喜欢将一切都变得疯狂。
因为她觉得这是义务，也是权利，她是制造气氛的能手，她的一句俏皮话会让一切轻快起来，但她的一声叹息又会将一切都弄得很沉重。她总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与忧 郁.　

她并不如你们看到的那么快乐，同样，也不如你们看到的那么忧伤，只是，她忧郁时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当她快乐时，忧郁又不肯轻易放过她。
在她的世界里，盛着的不是快乐的源泉，而是她不愿在人前滴下的泪水。

你看到的她，笑起来像一个孩子，你有时会认为她天真得像是童 话里走出来的天使。
但是，你若有心，你会看到她沉静时脸上挥之不去的忧伤，还有她的眼底，竟那么凝重地积压着一种看破红尘的味道。
她只有在午夜无人的时 候，才会完全地释放自己。她不会在众目睽睽之下表露她的无助，她的彷徨，她的沧桑。她心里的，是永远流不尽的泪。

你所看到的坚强，只是她在竭力掩饰的脆弱。

这就是射手座...

to those anonymous,

i thk i noe hu u all r,
u dun wan tell hu u r,
tats ok..
i dun wan 2 bother anymore d..
i m tired of all tis stuff d..

ya, i m keeping a distance vf u all..
i noe it.. do i wish to do so?
i thk i m nt, but i dunnoe y..
i jus cnt break through d wall..

wat had hapen is d past, past tense..
i try 2 4get it..
if cn, i wish 2 vanish tat part of memories..

i will try, i m trying..
mayb u all din feel it..
its ok...

rita, she is my frenz too..
she noe wat hapen btw me n tat gal..
mayb u all dun noe wat hapen.. or
mayb u all agree vf tat gal..
i dun noe..
wat i noe is, rita is my frenz..
u all may thk she try 2 spoilt our friendship..
but i cn wan 2 let u noe, she din't..
so, pls stop it..

jus lik wat i write in my previous post..
i shouldnt post it out..
if i dint, there will nt b so muc problems..

v still frenz, i noe..
u all jus try 2 help me, i noe it..
tis is nt ur problem, nt rita's problem
but me..

time will help me, i wish..

Rita,
sorry.. bside sorry, it still sorry..
i shouldnt post tat out..
if i nvr post it out.. no1 will left any comments..
then there will be ntg hapen..

i noe u din lik her too..
wat she did, oli both of us noe it..
so, i understand it..
tat comment u left at 1st..
i noe u mayb angry or jus joking..
i understand it.. coz i noe wat had hapen..

i din blame anythg, but myself..
4 posting such a stupid story...
i jus wan 2 express myself.. n
tell u all wat happen tat nite..
but i dun noe tis will hapen..

i m tired, perhaps frustrated..
i noe, u too..

u stopped, i noe..
u try 2 help me, i noe it..
10x, u always my frenz..

i m sorry 4 wat i hav did 2 u..
i m sorry..

pls...

cn u all pls stop it?
i noe u all care bout me..

but do u all thk b4, i post it out is jus 2 express myself..
freedom, u ask me 2 post tis story out...
do u thk i wish all tis sort of thg hapen?

i reli regret...
i wish i dint post it out..
mayb if i dun post it out, tis will nt hapen..
if i din post it out, all of u will nt geting hurt..

i m sorry..