if i were a boy

i reli cnt stand anymore...
it is reli hard 2 comunicate vf u all, it is reli tough 4 me
no matter wat i do, u all sure nt agree vf me...
no matter wat i do, wat i say, i will b de 1 hu doing d mistake...

he always ur perfect son, n i m jus ntg 4 u all...
he will b de 1 hu always correct, always the best of the best...
no matter wat he do, u all sure support him, help him, giv him ur opinion...

u all always say" u c ur brother, he is so gud, n u luk at urself..."
tis kind of thg i dun noe hw long i being hearing, i oso cnt rmb ( or i should say i dun wan 2 rmb it)
Y? m i reli tat worst? m i reli tat bad?
i reli dun noe, i reli dun wan 2 noe...
sometime i reli hate him, y should i b u? y cnt i b myself, i jus a shadow of u...
sometime i will think, izit better if i were a boy...

i m jus a shadow of u,
no matter hw hardworking m i, no matter hw i try 2 bcum better than u,
i m jus a shadow of u...

tat day when i get my result, i reli veli hapi, but once i told them,
i bcum veli sad... i though i will get gud respond from them...
but...
wat i get is jus " ohh, okay la"
it reli sad...

for him, " is ok 2 do it slow, dun giv urself 2 muc of pressure..."
for me, " y r u so slow, cnt u do it faster, y u haven dside, wat r u going 2 do..."
i reli hate them, i reli dun wish 2 treat them so rude, but...
i reli cnt stand anymore, i reli dun wan 2 comunicate vf them,
or i should say i dun noe hw 2 comunicate vf them,
no matter wat i say, v will jus end up vf quarrel... it is 2 hard 4 me

probably, if i were a boy, it will b better...

tis d 1st time i write my blog in imax... Rita ask me write d, but i dun noe wat 2 write...probably is bcoz, dun hav d mood 2 write when in imax, here is damn cool... my hand almost freezz...

haiz... tis few day hapen a lot of thg, it reli hurts me, gt a lot of thg tat wish 2 say, wish 2 noe, wish 2 ask... but i dun noe hw 2 say it out.... cn any1 tell me wat is happening?

haiz... tat all 4 nw, it is 2 cool 4 me 2 be in imax... n i dun hav d mood 2 write anythg more... mayb i cn write at home... mayb

dilemma-ing

haiz...where should i go? form 6? A-level? or UTAR foundation?

form6:

• save $
• study at hometown
• mani frienz
• cn go 2 gov U or private U
• stil cn change degree course
• waste time 2year
• nt veli willing 2 go( but still cn la)
• tough than foundation but easy than Alevel

A-level

• recognize by whole world
• study in penang
• save time 1 or 1.5 year
• willing 2 go
• stil cn change degree course
• nid 20K (if get scholarship, reduce to 6 or 7K)
• tough

foundation in UTAR

• save $ but still hav 2 pay about 10k ( if get scholarship, it may reduce alot, 100% tuition fee)
• near hometown
• got frenz
• save time 1year
• willing 2 go ( still cn la)
• easy than f6 n Alevel
• cnt change degree course anymore( hav 2 dside nw)

so wat should i choose? where should i go? wat should i do? cn any1 tell me?